Pajama Boy and the mystery of the missing apples OR why Matt should just read a book to Josh

Posted on 19 April 2009 | No responses

It was late and is often the case when it’s late, it was also time for bed. The father announced this, as it is his (and sometimes the mother’s) job to declare such things. As is the nature of these things, the boy did not want to go to bed. Instead he played the one card he knew would cause a delay and keep away that nasty bed time.
“Dadda I wanna read a book.”
Of course the Father KNEW this is just a delaying tactic, but enforcing good reading habits is important. It is part of the parenthood code. In fact he could get in big trouble with the fatherhood review board for not enforcing good reading habits. On the other hand, the father couldn’t just let the boy delay bed time forever. A compromise was needed.
“Son, Instead of a book tonight, I will tell you a story” the Father declared.
The boy was doubtful, but agreed. And so the Father and the boy went about getting ready for bed. With the tooth brushing and pajama putting on and positioning the blankets just so (as the boy was 3 and very particular about such things). When all was ready and the lights turned down the boy said “Dadda I wanna read a book.”
“Son, I will tell you a story. “
“What book is the story in, Dadda?”
“Well no book, I’m just going to sorta fake it. “ The boy looked doubtful but did not ask again. The father thought for a second. Then began:
“This is the story of Joshua the Pajama boy. Who every night helped people in need with the help of his magic pajamas and his good friends George the monkey” the father put the boy’s stuff monkey into his son’s arms” and Bear the umm bear” he held the boys stuff bear in his own arms “Together with they shout ‘PAJAMAS’ and race to the rescue.”
“Like a fire truck?” asked the boy.
“Sure, just like a fire truck. Good story so far?” the Father asked
“Its ok” the boy said and then started to suck his finger.
“Well its gets better. You see one day while Pajama boy, George the monkey, and bear the bear were patrolling…” the Father paused. “Do you know what patrolling means?”
“Yes” said the boy confident in his knowledge of all things.
“What does it mean?”
“I don’t know” said the boy, honest about his lack of knowledge of all things.
“Well it means looking around for people in need. Sorta. Anyway, one day while Pajama boy, George the monkey, and Bear the bear were patrolling they found a villager. The villager said ‘Help me Pajama boy, a flying dinosaur monkey is stealing all our apples and if he does that, we’ll have nothing to eat, and we will be very very sad. ‘ So Pajama boy, and George the Monkey, and Bear the bear shouted their battle cry ‘PAJAMAS’ and leapt into the air (as this is what one does with magic Pajamas) and flew to the nearby village. “
“There they found Gakka the flying Dinosaur Monkey with a handful of Apples! And Gakka said ‘ROAR’!” the father paused for a second. “Do you think a flying Dinosaur Monkey would make a sound like ‘ROAR’?” he asked his son. The boy laughed.
“No Dadda”
“Well what noise would Gakka make?” The boy put George the Monkey to the side and sat up in bed.
“ARRRRRRRRRR” he said.
“ARRRRRRRRRR?”
“ARRRRRRRRRR” the boy repeated.
“Like a pirate?”
“No dada” but the boy offered no more advice on the subject.
“Fine. So Gakka went ‘ARRRRRRRRR’ and picked up the apples and flew away. As this is what flying dinosaur monkeys do. Apparently. So Pajama boy and George the monkey and Bear the bear” by now the father was really regretting giving Pajama boy so many friends” shouted ‘PAJAMAS’ and flew off after Gakka. The three friends followed Gakka for a long long time. 60 minutes”
“That’s short Dadda” The boy injected.
“Well not when you are flying” defended the father “It’s very tiring, even with Magic Pajamas. Anyway after 60 minutes, Gakka stop and said ‘ARRRRRRRRRR, why are you following me?’ And Pajama boy said ‘Give us back those apples you fiend’ “
“Dadda whats a fiend?”
“Well it’s a , umm, you know what never mind, Pajama boy said ‘Give us back those apples you apple taker’.
Looking quite hurt, as he was apparently a very sensitive flying dinosaur monkey, Gakka said ‘But I found these apples. They are mine.’
And Pajama boy said ‘No their not, they belong to the village, and if you take them, no one will have anything to eat, and everyone will be really really sad.’
Gakka looked at the apples and then looked at Pajama boy, who giving Gakka his best stern face. Then Gakka looked at George the monkey who was giving Gakka his best stern face. And then Gakka looked at bear who was giving Gakka HIS best stern face which was made somewhat less impressive by the silly heart necklace and the silly wings on bears back. And Gakka said ‘I am sorry for taking the apples’. And so Gakka gave back the apples and the villagers were all very happy. And Gakka and Pajama boy and George the Monkey and Bear the bear all become great friends. The end.”
The boy stared at his father.
“Soo good story?” The father asked.
“Dadda, I wanna read a book.”
THE END.

Obama knows Basketball, so you dont have to.

Posted on 19 April 2009 | No responses

It’s a pretty well know fact, I know nothing of sports. I don’t play them, I don’t watch them. In fact I’m pretty sure my 3 year old son knows more about sports then I do (but hey at least I still beat him on that potty trained thing). Most of the time, it doesn’t much matter. However, every March I run into trouble.

Every March my boss makes everyone in the department (all 5 of us) fill out March Madness brackets. And every year we all complain, since only one of us follows sports at all. And every year we all end up doing them anyway. So the first year, I just picked at random. I put a lot of stock in Xavier, thinking “Hey, the xmen have to rock at basket ball”. Turns out Xavier’s “School for gifted Mutants” doesn’t even rank (probably busy saving the world or being filled with angst) and the Xavier listed kinda sucks. So that year went badly. The next year the site had the odds built in. So I just followed whatever the site told me was more likely to win. Pretty easy. I did well, didn’t win, but ended up pretty close. The boss was impressed.

So now March rolls around again, and I’m all ready to play it safe. To my horror , the website no longer provides the odds built in. Well not horror, more like mild annoyance, but that seems boring, so let us stick with horror. Anyway, I was lost as what to do. I found a few web sites, desperately searching for ideas, but nothing that really matched my needs. But then the heavens smiled on me and I found this (or technically my buddy Mike did):

http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2009/0317/obamasbracket09.jpg

Its Presidents Obama picks. In these troubled times, it’s good to know that we can look to one man for guidance to rescue our economy, restore our country’s honor AND tell us who is going to win March Madness. Talk about a full service president. I’m am totally “borrowing” Obama’s picks. I mean, heck, even if I end up losing, I can just blame George Bush. 🙂

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